When dealing with the early stages of meeting and dating women, one of the most important things to understand is the basic truism that women are not attracted to 'nice guys'. This is such an important concept for you to grasp because it sits at the root of most guy's inability to successfully attract and date the kind of woman they really desire.

I first started picking up on this principle when I was in college. When I met a girl at a party, in a class, or at the coffee house where I studied, I'd talk to her in a way that was very nice... I was polite, thoughtful and considerate. I'd show a lot of interest, ask a lot of questions, furrow my eyebrows and nod my head a lot. Sometimes I'd put on a skirt and a wig and offer to go shopping with her. Well, not really... but looking back I realize that I may as well have. Because even though I'd very often get a number, almost always I'd end up lost in Friendville...

The girls I met this way would systematically walk all over me, ignore me, not call, not return my calls, and simply flake. If it was highly convenient for them, and there was a way to use me, then perhaps I'd have the honor of their company, where I'd be expected to buy them a meal and play tour-guide in exchange for 'the hug'... You know the one I mean... the hug where there's a force-field around her hips that creates two feet of empty space between your stomachs, and a nice pat on the back to boot. Ouch.

I noticed something else... (I had a lot of time to observe things, since my social calendar made Ted Kaczynski look like a daring socialite). Every once in a while I'd see one of these girls out again, and they'd be out with some guy who was a total jerk. He'd make fun of her, ignore her, check out other women, and just be generally unavailable to her... and she'd hang on his arm like a rhesus monkey.

As for me, occasionally I'd get 'lucky', and meet a girl who had been in a relationship with a jerk, and who was treated so poorly that my attention felt good to her... for a short while. But sooner or later, she'd return to the jerk for her 'fix'. Or sometimes, I'd have a girl pursue me, and I wouldn't be all that into her, which seemed to drive her nuts, and make her all the more after me lucky charms. I saw a theme developing... a pattern I couldn't explain.
At the time it seemed like the most confusing thing in the world... why would a woman want to be treated poorly? It seemed that more the woman was ignored, the more invested she became, and the nicer she was treated, the deeper into 'Friendsville' I found myself? Women's attraction to men who are 'jerks' is a universally accepted phenomenon, yet the nice guys remain nice...
...and lonely.

So why does an attractive woman ignore a 'nice guy' to end up in the arms of some 'jerk'? To understand this, you must first put yourself in the shoes of an attractive woman. You have to understand her reality and how you fit into it.